How to make people like you
Establishing a positive interaction with others is a crucial life skill. I recently read the book, How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less by Nicholas Boothman. This book has some great learning points in it.
Effective Communication can be remembered by the acronym KFC:
- Know the wants, needs, and goals
- Find out what is being delivered
- Change and improve practices to achieve the desired results
Rapport is the key to relationships. To build rapport, Mr Boothman argues is to learn how to become like them:
- First contact - you have 90 seconds to gain trust or lose it
- Open (have an open posture)
- Eye (catch eye contact)
- Beam (send your positive attitude)
- Hi! (greet - be first)
- Lean (lean towards them)
- Actions speak louder than words - Be congruent
- [People like people like themselves]
He provides 3 secrets for [good communication]:
- Use active listening
- The listener must [wait patiently] while other people talk, [observing body language], and [listening carefully] to what they say and how they say it.
- Questions are the answer - learn to ask the right questions
- Open ended question allows a conversation partner to disclose sensitive information. They can be used to start an initial conversation, or walk someone toward a clearer understanding of issues and possible solutions, without pressure.
- Closed ended questions help refocus a conversation partner, and may be used to stop a conversation from going farther down a particular pathway. The best time to interject a closed-end question is during a natural break or lull in the conversation, while the partner is reflecting or taking a breath.
- Choose the best sensory channel for each partner - Once an observer can detect and connect with a conversation partner's optimal sensory channel, they can easily establish rapport.
- The 3 distinct learning styles or sensory channels:
- Visual - Make a lively conversation using vibrant words.
- Kinesthetic - Make a lively conversation using sticky ideas.
- Auditory - Make a lively conversation using words that buzz.